Definitely Not Drunk
by fanaticgirl08
Summary: In which the rule abiding head girl sneaks out with her friends to Hogsmeade and comes home totally sloshed to find her fellow Head boy waiting up. 7th year. Lily and James are Head boy and Head girl.


Lily Evans did not get drunk. As both headgirl and an Evans she was utterly too sensible for said things. She'd been tipsy, maybe, during particularly excellent house parties though she'd certainly never been /drunk/. That was until her best friend's birthday came around, and she agreed to sneak out to Hogsmeade for the first time in her entire witching career to go to the three broomsticks and have a 'couple of drinks'. Now Lily Evans was drunk. Or perhaps the term 'pissed beyond belief' was more accurate. That was why at some two am said redhead stumbled into the heads common room with a sway in her step, humming to herself happily as she removed, tried, and failed to hang up her coat, causing her to break into a fit of giggles. It took her several moments to recover from her amusement at her fallen coat, before turning and catching sight of a rather tired looking messy haired boy straining to stay awake laying on the sofa, book in hand. "Merlin's saggy left bollock. Marlene, Marlene look it's James Potter." Lily gasped, pointing her hand and turning her head to speak to a best friend who was not there. "Mar?" She questioned, brow furrowing in confusion as she did a full 360 turn in search for the blonde before her gaze fell back on James once again. "James Potter!" She exclaimed. "I was /just/ talking about you."

James had been here for hours. Hours and hours. Hours and hours and hours even. And he had felt every second of it. He felt like he'd been studying his entire life and could barely remember the good times before he had picked up his Muggle Studies textbook. At this point he just wanted to sleep. Being awake this late doing something he despised was going to put him in a bad mood for tomorrow he was sure of it. He was just considering how he was probably already in an unstoppable bad mood for the next day when Lily came crashing through the door as if she hadn't a care in the world and wasn't aware that it was almost two o clock in the morning. He watched her drowsily from the sofa with a bemused smile on his face as she staggered around to try and hang up her coat and speak to Marlene who had obviously dumped her at the door to fend for herself. He chuckled quietly and sat up, humouring Lily by nodding along to her slurred speech "Really? Were you? What a coincidence" He laughed again and set his book to one side "Why don't you sit down before you hurt yourself Evans"

"Pfft, I'm not going to hurt myself." Lily replied dismissively, waving a hand and catching her finger on the coat stand. "Ow, oh, Potter that hurt..." She whined, looking down to her slightly reddened finger, before her eyes went wide. "You knew that was about to happen. Merlin's saggy left tit you have the /sight/!" She exclaimed with utter awe as she looked at him, before looking down at her finger. "Mhm, I caught my nail and everything." She complained, before stepping over to the sofa. She dropped down onto the sofa and placed her head on his lap facing up at him with big puppy eyes before thrusting her hand up towards him. "Kiss it better." She demanded, barely containing her giggles at such a thought.

James arched his eyebrows and patted the seat next to him, before laughing when she hit her hand on the coat pegs. He rolled his eyes and stood up in order to coax her onto the sofa like a Shepard with his sheep. "Mhmm, I thought you knew that Evans, I am extremely proficient at Divination after all" He teased, easing her past the coffee table carefully so she wouldn't bump herself and plopping back onto his own seat just in time to catch her head in his lap. Drunk Lily was certainly...affectionate...he thought to himself as she all but stuck her finger in his face. He pecked her finger lightly "I think we need to get you some toast and water and then tuck you up in bed wouldn't you agree?"

"Hey! No. _No_." Lily exclaimed indignantly at such a thought, giving a shake of her head. "You do _not_ tell me what to do James Potter. You're so annoying like that, you're all... 'ooh, ooh I'm James Potter'." She mimicked, losing track of her own point as she did so, head lolling to the side and her attention turning to his book on the coffee table. "What are you reading? Oh, you should read to me, that would be so good." She hummed as she grabbed the book, before 'pffting' as she saw it was a book on muggle studies. "Never mind." She said, tossing it back onto the table.

James couldn't help but laugh at Lily's indignation and her slurred and messy impression of him "I do _not_ speak like that Evans" He protested, looking down at her upside-down form in his lap. She was distracted momentarily by his reading material and he was about to explain to her that it was probably not that interesting to listen to when she seemed to skip ahead of his thought process and throw it down again. "Hey, hey!" He scolded, picking the book up again and smoothing it down carefully "Lily Evans mistreating books, now I know you're drunk. Come on, get up we need to get you to bed."

"What did I _just_ say? You do _not_ tell me what to do James Potter." She scowled, poking him in the ribs. "And I do _not_ want to go to bed, we only _just_ started talking and I want to talk to youuuu." She hummed, sitting up and swinging her legs round so she was now straddling his lap as opposed to laying with her head on his thighs. "Hmm, hello." She smiled, draping her arms around his neck and tilting her head to rest her forehead on his.

"Alright! Alright Evans, it was only a suggestion, nobody is telling you to do anything" He replied in an attempt to subdue the frown that was making rapid progress in taking over Lily's features "I want to talk to you too" He helped her up, thinking that she was going to the toilet or to get a drink or (and he was being hopeful with this one) actually going to bed but rather than any of these she planted herself across his lap. He could feel heat rapidly rushing to his face and he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Hello Evans" He mumbled, he couldn't say he disliked this situation in the slightest but he knew Lily would be angry in the morning if he let it go any further "You" He started, leaning back from her to tap her nose "Are very drunk."

Lily leaned comfortably against his chest, resting her head on his shoulder, a small frown on her face. ''I think _you're_ the one whose drunk.'' she disagreed childishly.

James rolled his eyes and just let his hands settle on the small of her back, glad that she'd settled down now instead of leaning in close to his face with those irresistible lips just millimetres from his own...James shook himself out of his daydream and shifted her further down his lap so that there was a bigger gap between them "Hmm if you say so Lils" He murmured, "You know I think you might be comfier in bed - again just a suggestion"

She shook her head; very adamant she wasn't tired and wouldn't be anytime soon despite the time. ''I'm not tired!'' she insisted, sitting up in his lap. ''Can we do something? Let's do something fun!'' she said, not even waiting for his answer.

James groaned inwardly as Lily sat up again, immediately shaken out of her moment of sleepiness and back to full alertness. To be perfect honestly, James was exhausted but he wasn't going to pass on an opportunity to spend this much time with Lily Evans when she was this eager to be this close to him.

Lily got up off of his lap after a few tries, finding it hard to get her feet on the floor because James was so much taller than her and giving her, the booster seat feeling. With a successful grin plastered on her face she did a little victory twirl. Before stopping and holding her head. ''Woah...dizzy.''

James just sat back on the sofa and raised his knees slightly after her second attempt because he had to admit that watching her trying to get off his lap was pretty funny. When she finally managed to stand up he levered himself from the sofa and was standing just in time to steady her after her spinning. "Calm down Evans you already bashed your finger we can't have you hurting yourself more."

Lily pouted at his comment and looked down at her hand, wriggling said bashed finger. ''I hope it doesn't fall off.'' Which caused James to laugh under his breath, he couldn't believe how smashed she was, "Me too Evans, but I heard that a good way to stop fingers from falling off is by being very calm and staying sat down in one place" He took her bruised hand in his and tried to lead her towards the stairs.

''So it won't fall off then?'' she asked, looking up at him as he lead her over to the stairs leading their separate rooms. ''I'll have all ten? Ten. Fingers tomorrow?'' she asked.

James took his time guiding Lily very carefully up the stairs, making sure she had at least one foot firmly on the next step before he let her move. "All ten fingers I promise.'' He told her, just to keep her quiet while he got them safely onto the landing.

Lily giggled amusedly and nodded, feeling him prod and help her up the stairs. ''Thank you so very much.''

''Your welcome, Evans.'' he grinned amusedly, as he placed one hand on her back to hold her up just in case while he opened her door with the other, "Now can you take it from here or do you need me to put you to bed?"

Lily walked past him and into her room before she bent down and started with her shoes as she pulled them off, wobbling and then tumbling onto her bed. She burst out laughing and then looked at him. She giggled again. ''James Potter wants to get me into beeed!''

James leaned against the door frame as he watched her enter her room and then flop gracelessly onto her bed after getting her shoes off. whoever thought heels and alcohol was a good idea was insane. James blushed a little at her comment and leaned off of the door frame to enter her room, picking her shoes up and moving them so she wouldn't trip on them at any point. ''Do think you can change into pyjamas, Evans? Or will you just sleep in that?'' he asked her.

''I dunno.'' she smiled, looking up at him, a mischievous glint in her green eyes. ''Maybe I don't wear pyjamas to bed.'' she winked and then burst into a fit of giggles.

Wow. Drunk Evans was a flirt. A huge flirt. A huge flirt who had very little idea what kind affect her words had on teenage boys who had admittedly thought about what she slept in (and what she would look like without clothes on) more than once. "Merlin Evans you're not half making life bloody hard for me" He sighed, running a hand back through his thick hair "Why don't we see if you have a shirt you can wear to bed for tonight if you won't tell me where your pyjamas are?"

Lily grinned from ear to ear at him. It was so much fun teasing Potter like this. He was always looked so shocked and surprised. She watched him as he started blindly looking through her drawers for something suitable.

James eventually emerged from Lily's trunk with an old jumper and pair of gym shorts that looked like they would be enough to cover her up for the night. He pressed it into her hands and then tried to get her to walk to the bathroom "Go and get changed and brush your teeth and for Merlin's sake try not to be sick" He instructed as he pushed her in the direction of the bathroom door while she tried to resist his efforts to move her.

She frowned slightly as he handed her a jumper and then listed off waaay too many things for her to understand right now. Lily looked up at him while he guided her towards the bathroom. She remained stubbornly at her spot by the bed. ''I don't want to.''

"Lily pleeeease" James groaned, his voice bordering on a whine as he threw the jumper over his shoulder and then swiftly picked Lily up into his arms, trying to ignore the sight and feeling of so much of Lily Evans' skin. He carried her into the bathroom like this and then sat her on the toilet while he put toothpaste and water on her toothbrush and put it into her mouth for her as if she was a little kid. "Brush your teeth and get dressed Evans, I'll wait outside for you."

Lily had squealed as her feet suddenly left the ground when he picked her up. She tired protesting as he sat her on the toilet and shoved her brush in her mouth.

Once she stopped protesting he spoke again, slowly and clearly "Brush your teeth. Get dressed. In that order.'' He repeated and started to back towards the door "I'll wait just outside the door."

Lily huffed but reluctantly picked up her tooth brush and started brushing her teeth, sitting on the loo as James closed the door over. Once she was done and had rinsed out at the sink she tried moving onto her dress. She tried pulling it off like a top but that wasn't working and tried shimmying out of it also but it was useless. Finally she tried reaching the zip at the back but dresses are hard enough to work even without being totally smashed.

Sighing in frustration Lily headed over to the door and opened it, to find James still waiting outside. ''I can't get the zip.'' she whined. ''I think it's stuck and my arms aren't long enough to reach. Can you help?'' she asked and didn't wait for his response as she turned her back to him and moved her hair out of the way.

James gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing as he watched her turn and took a few minutes just to look at Lily, taking in her figure in the little black dress. She really was gorgeous and this was killing him. He quickly took hold of the zip and pulled it down, averting his eyes before letting go. ''There. Done.''

Lily beamed and turned to him, holding the dress in place. ''Thanks, Potter. You're a lifesaver.'' she laughed before closing the door over again and locking it. James sighed and leaned against the wall. The gods were testing him tonight. All he'd ever wanted was Lily Evans and for Lily Evans to want him. But she was drunk and a drunk mind could not speak for a sober one.

When Lily emerged from the bathroom she came out and struck a pose, looking pleased with herself that she was now out of the heels and dress. ''Ta-da!'' she exclaimed like it was amazing she'd managed to do it.

Shit. Shit Shit Shit Shit SHIT. If James had thought Lily had looked good in that dress, nothing compared to how she looked in that jumper and shorts. She looked simultaneously the hottest and the cutest girl he'd ever see. James shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts out of his head and grinned and started clapping, going along with it and humouring her. ''Well done, Evans. Wow. Amazing.'' he laughed as she struck another pose before turning to look at him. ''So what now then?'' she asked.

''Now its time for bed, Evans. I'm tired and would like to do this thing called sleeping.'' he told her, taking her hand and leading her back to her room. Lily followed behind him, taking the opportunity to look at his muscular back and arms. Perhaps Quidditch wasn't so bad. Lily stopped in her tracks and pulled on his hand, smiling at him as she tugged at him and started to dance around him, trying to get him to join in. ''Okay but one more dance?'' she asked.

"One dance then.'' He agreed, thankful as it was pushing half three now but he let her drag him into a ballroom dancing position none the less and settled his other hand on her waist as he began to lead her around the room.

''Hey! You're really good at this?'' she smiled, craning her neck to look up at him. ''Where'd you learn to dance huh?'' she asked.

"I'm a Potter. It's in the blood." He joked, dipping her dramatically to one side and then spinning her upright again "And I took dance lessons as a kid."

She giggled as he dipped her, her hair brushing the floor and then bringing her up again. ''Aw that's cute. I can imagine little James Potter dancing at home or something.''

"Yep" James laughed and twirled Lily twice very quickly before sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling her down onto one of his knees "It was adorable, and if you go to sleep now I'll get my mum to send a video of me doing a tap recital when I was seven just for your viewing pleasure."

Lily smiled softly as she was led onto his knees, really impressed by his dance moves. She still had her hands on his shoulders as she looked at him while he spoke. ''I like your mum.'' she told him. ''I really like you too.''

James smiled softly, he could feel the heat pooling in his cheeks at her compliments and he gently pulled her in closer, his movements slow so he didn't startle her. "Well that's convenient because I really like you as well" He murmured, tapping her nose playfully. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her in that moment but he knew it would be wrong to do so. She was drunk, and very at that. She may not really mean anything that she says or does tonight. He'd waited six years for Lily Evans. If he had to he'd wait more.

She smiled even more and bumped his nose back gently, her arms hooking around his neck more as he inched her closer to him on his knees. James saw that she was moving closer to him and snapped out of it, moving back a little. "Alright, Evans. One dance and now its bedtime."

''Are you tired?'' she asked quietly, her face still inches away from his. She'd only ever been up that close to James when they argued, but this was different. She could really see him. Things she never noticed before.

"It is nearly four in the morning, Lily" He teased, one hand reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear "I don't understand how you're _not_ tired." He chuckled again.

She shrugged. ''Maybe I decided to let my hair down and have some fun for once.'' she told him.

"And that's a good thing that you should do more often..." He replied, watching her with earnest "But for now you need to go to sleep or we'll both be cranky tomorrow and I don't want to ruin tonight by rowing with you in the morning" He scooped her up in a bridal lift and slid her under her blankets. She slid down in her bed and turned onto her side, tucking her arm under her head as a pillow and looking at him. ''Night then, James.''

James pulled the blanket up over her and paused, he wanted to stay longer but she needed her sleep, "Night" He replied, giving her a chaste kiss on her cheek "I'm only across the hall if you need anything." He added with a reassuring smile before he headed towards the door.

Lily smiled, her cheek tingling where he'd kissed it. She watched him straighten up and cross the room to her door. She said goodnight again before he closed the door.


End file.
